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What if my Religion is just Self Help?

What if my Religion is just Self Help?
I came to religion for selfish reasons. I was often depressed. I felt empty. I couldn’t find meaning in life. I explored faith because I wanted to receive, not to give. I was looking for a spiritual solution to my lack of direction and purpose. I wanted a faith that would make me feel good.

I did a lot of religious exploration before I became a Christian. I engaged with philosophical movements like existentialism. I went deep with political ideologies like democratic socialism and anarchism. I even explored Buddhism, Islam, and other non-western faiths.

My motivations were very human and self-centered. I wanted a faith that would fix me, that would make me happy and fulfilled. I wanted a system that could give me the right answers and make my life easier.

If I’m honest with myself, most of my faith journey has been a path of self help. My religion was like those books that promise rapid weight loss, financial prosperity, or success in love. Everything was about what I needed, wanted, and craved.
What if my Religion is just Self Help?
Even my experience of God was a product to be sought after. Buddhist books written for westerners promised me inner peace and clarity. Quakerism offered me ecstatic, mystical experiences that took place in meetings for worship. That sense of presence and power made me feel special, purposeful, and loved. I wanted more of that.

I felt like these religious experiences were making me better. Throughout my twenties I would say, “every day is better than the last.” And it was true. The more I got into spiritual practices and religious devotion – meditation, Bible reading, worship, prayer – the more mature and grounded I felt. Other people seemed to think so, too. I had objective evidence that religion was making me a better person!

My faith was fun and gratifying. It was fantastic to feel successful. My life was filled with meaning and purpose in a way that I had never experienced before. I still had periods of darkness and struggle, but I came out of each one feeling more triumphant than before.

Until I didn’t.

My thirties have been a hard decade. I had my whole sense of mission and purpose called into question. The ministry that I’d been focusing my whole life on fell apart. It was hard to know what to do. I felt so clear about what God had called me to do. And then there was nothing left. Where was God in all this?

At the same time, my life turned upside down. After years of ministry, I started working full-time in non-church-related jobs. We also had our first child, which changed my life and outlook in ways that I never imagined. Life got busy. Full with comings and goings, work and responsibilities. I didn’t feel able to be present to God in the way I used to. I felt that emptiness again.

This new dry season is very different from the one I experienced in my teens and early twenties. This time, I’ve already committed to a religious path. I know that I want to follow Jesus. I’ve met him. I’ve seen that he is the Messiah. For me, he is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

And yet I’m so burned out on religion. I’m so exhausted by church, theology, and all the human stuff that goes with being in faith community. Religion doesn’t feed me in the way it used to.

As hard as this is, I’m wondering whether this might be a good sign.

What if I’ve been mis-using religion this whole time? What if my relationship with God isn’t about making me a better person? What if it’s not about giving me purpose, identity, or comfort? What if my faith in Jesus isn’t about me at all?

Maybe these questions seem obvious to you. “Of course, Micah. What, you thought it was all about you?” In truth, I’d have to answer in the affirmative. That’s the whole narrative I’ve received about faith. It’s about self-improvement. Growing in maturity. Becoming a better man, able to help and teach others because I’ve got it together. That’s what I thought “sanctification” was all about.

But now I’m thinking there might be a different story. To put it in Paul’s language, what if I’ve been a baby drinking milk this whole time? What if God gave me what I needed in my very immature state, but it’s not the main course? What if the meat and potatoes of discipleship is less about improving myself and more about forgetting myself? Could it be that, by seeking life improvement – even by desiring to be “a better person” – I’m avoiding the real journey that Jesus wants to take me on?

What is that journey?

Honestly, I don’t know. I think it has to do with looking at Jesus rather than myself. I suspect it’s about learning to focus on the needs of those around me rather than my own dreams and desires. Even good dreams and desires. It might be that the kingdom of God isn’t about what I experience. It’s not focused on how I grow, or what I do. Instead, it’s unlocked when I lose track of myself. When I become yielded to the light of Christ. Even when that light feels like darkness.

This is a scary path. It’s frightening because I have no idea where it leads. To walk down it is to surrender my ability to steer. This is what it means to get past “self-help religion.” When I get into the strong meat of faith, the overwhelming sensation is that of being out of control.

Yet there is also the hope here. Hope that, in the midst of it all, I am loved and guided. There is a presence and power beyond my narrow understanding and selfish desires. She will direct me.

I want to trust this Spirit. I want to trust that this path will lead me through green pastures and beside still waters. Even if I’m thirsty most of the time.

Related Posts:

Do You Think You’ll Age Like Wine?

What If This Is The End of the World?

  • Francis Boyle

    I think you’re right, Micah. thank you for putting into words the experience I had many years ago when all my plans to enter the Ministry just fell totally apart. Less consciously than you, I realised that up till then it had been about me. But now, with the benefit of much more mature years, I see that I said to myself, yes, of course, it can’t be about me! I have a little axiom: if you’re not finding Jesus’ words revolutionary, challenging and turning your world inside out and upside down – you’re not getting it! You highlight the core and perhaps most difficult part, as you alluded to it : yielding to the Light of Christ even when that light seems dark. However, we are in darkness now and that skews our perception. Jesus says that our world, that we think is sane, rational and the right way up is in fact, nuts and topsy-turvy. But that is how His world will therefore appear to us. We walk into that seeming darkness, where we appear to surrender control, and find eventually that we are walking in Light and have more control than we ever dreamed of – only it’s completely different. What we felt that we MUST control, we cannot anyway, that’s His job (and, of course, He’ll do a much better job that we). We learn what we can do because we become part of Christ and therefore the sky’s the limit. It may not always be happy or even joyful, but that was a part of even Jesus’ experience when He was on Earth (and maybe in some cosmic way still true today, who knows?). But we will receive what we have always been looking for, even ‘though we sometimes didn’t or don’t know it.

  • MM Farmer

    The older I get, the more I realize that the path isn’t about becoming a better person. It’s about loving: loving the Earth which we have been given and all the inhabitants. Especially the ones we are not drawn to love….those ones we don’t recognize as part of our tribe.

  • I like the way Eugene Peterson translates Matthew 16:24-26 (there are similar passages in Mark and Luke):

    Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come
    with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?

  • Ellis Hein

    Micah, I tried to leave a comment earlier, but it disappeared. If this shows up as a duplicate, please delete one of them.

    Your post reminds me of Alexander Parker’s encounter with George Fox. (It may have been Anthony Pearson, I am not sure which.) The result of this encounter was his comment to a friend in a letter, preserved in the Fells of Swarthmore Hall and in Friends Library, Vol. XI. In this letter, he remarks that his faith was undone even though he felt he had obtained a high pitch in religion, above many of his peers. What he thought was the end of all proved to be the beginning.

    I also want to direct your attention to Fox’s words in Vol. I of his works where he says: “But as I had forsaken the priests, so I left the separate preachers also, and those called the most experienced people; for I saw there was none among them all that could speak to my condition. And when all my hopes in them and in all men were gone, so that I had nothing outwardly to help me, nor could tell what to do; then, Oh ! then I heard a voice which said, There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can speak to thy condition.’ When I heard it, my heart did leap for joy. Then the Lord let me see why there was none upon the earth that could speak to my condition, namely, that I. might give him all the glory. For all are concluded under sin, and shut up in unbelief, as I had been, that Jesus Christ might have pre-eminence, who enlightens, and gives grace, faith, and power.” (Works, Vol. I, p.75) After you have read and considered those words, in their context, then go to Fox’s commission where he states: “I could speak much of these things, and many volumes might be written ; but all would prove too short to set forth the infinite love, wisdom, and power of God, in preparing, fitting, and furnishing me for the service he had appointed me to; letting me see the depths of satan, on the one hand, and opening to me, on the other hand, the divine mysteries of his own everlasting kingdom.” (Works, Vol. I, p.90) (For those who don’t have access to Fox’s Works, you can see a copy of Fox’s commission at https://thiswasthetruelight.wordpress.com/george-foxs-commission/ )

    If this is a genuine experience of being stripped of all resources other than depending upon the Lord alone, then you can trust that He will carry out the work according to the working of His power. Sit under the experience and trust the process. If you look for a feel-good-fix, nothing good will come of it.

  • Joe

    I’ve thought a lot about this idea of religion as “self-help” over the years and it increasingly grates whenever I see it.

    And, y’know, in various ways Christianity has been little help to me. I haven’t gotten the wealth that some promise, the joy that others promise, the purpose, the glory, the constant feelings of success. The armfuls of greatful followers.

    But then I’m increasingly less and less believing in this thing that others take for granted. Many seem to think that the purpose of Christianity is the fabled “relationship with Jesus,” where we dance with him in fields of daisies. I just haven’t experienced that, and am not even sure it is something to be desired. We’re taught to be faithful, not to be up or down depending on whether we think God is noticing little old me in any given moment.

    Faithfulness means doing the right thing even when there is no positive reward. It means continuing even when there is every reason to stop. It means cleaning the metaphorical rooms even when there is nobody to stay, when nobody notices, when there is no reward.

  • barbara.hrrsn@gmail.com

    Welcome to the world of grown ups.

    • That’s really patronizing, Barbara. I assume you don’t mean this as an insult, but it feels like one.

      • Joe

        fwiw, I don’t think that these things are to do with your age, how “grown up” you are or how spiritual you are or aren’t. Some of us seem to experience life as a series of failures, and it is natural to feel down about that. I suppose all I’m really trying to say is: don’t give up.

        Please don’t. You are not alone.

      • barbara.hrrsn@gmail.com

        This is the world I have lived in for more than a half century. fwiw, there are very few who make this realization before the half-century mark (and most who do have had a far harder life than you), so my statement is NOT an insult but an accolade.

        • OK, Barbara. Thanks for that clarification. I’ll take your earlier comment in the spirit it was given.

  • Patricia Dallmann

    Sometimes the best way to handle a spiritual problem is to read a Bible passage in which Jesus addresses it specifically, and then let the words resonate in your heart to reveal their significance. You might want to read Luke 17: 5-10.

    One idea that you’ve stated here stands out for me as needing comment: right living is not about sacrifice; it’s about attending to, heeding your conscience. Sometimes there’s overlap, sometimes not. You see, “sacrifice” is a principle (but a “dead” one), a virtue that you can adopt. Your conscience, however, stands as a living principle and is something you obey, not something you control, like the “dead” principles and values you can adopt. Therefore in listening attentively to your conscience and acting upon its dictates, you practice becoming the servant, not the master.

    • Good point, Patricia. Unfortunately, in my experience I find it very difficult to sort out conscience from self-will. So “dead” principles still have a role to play for me.

      • Patricia Dallmann

        Alert to Joe: I received your comment through email but was unable to answer it from that location. Please repost your comment, if possible, here in the comment section. Thank you.

        • Joe

          I did, I’m sorry but it didn’t appear.

          • Patricia Dallmann

            For when they read, that death reigned from Adam to Moses; that the law and
            the prophets were until John; and that the least in the kingdom is
            greater than John; they read these things without them, and applied
            them to others, (and the things were true of others,) but they did not
            turn in to find the truth of these things in themselves. As these things
            were opened in me, I saw death reigned over them from Adam to
            Moses; from the entrance into transgression, till they came to the ministration
            of condemnation, which restrains people from sin that brings
            death. When the ministration of Moses is passed through, the ministry
            of the prophets comes to be read and understood, which reaches
            through the figures, types, and shadows unto John, the greatest prophet
            born of a woman; whose ministration prepares the way of the
            Lord, by bringing down the exalted mountains, and making straight
            paths. As this ministration is passed through, an entrance comes to be
            known into the everlasting kingdom. I saw plainly, that none could
            read Moses aright without Moses’s spirit, by which he saw how man
            was in the image of God in paradise, how he fell, how death came
            over him, and how all men have been under this death. I saw how
            Moses received the pure law, that went over all transgressors; and
            how the clean beasts, which were figures and types, were offered up,
            when the people were come into the righteous law that went over the
            first transgression. Moses and the prophets saw through the types and
            figures, and beyond them, and saw Christ the great prophet, that was
            to come to fulfil them. I saw that none could read John’s words aright,
            and with a true understanding of them, but in and with the same divine
            spirit by which John spake them; and by his burning, shining light
            which is sent from God. For by that spirit their crooked natures might
            be made straight, their rough natures smooth, and the exacter and
            violent doer in them might be cast out; and those that had been hypocrites,
            might come to bring forth fruits meet for repentance, and their
            mountain of sin and earthliness might be laid low, and their valley
            exalted in them, that there might be a way prepared for the Lord in
            them: and then the least in the kingdom is greater than John. But all
            must first know the voice crying in the wilderness in their hearts, which
            through transgression were become as a wilderness (Works, I, 87-8).

            Joe, As your comment was sent to my email but has not yet appeared on this post, I am answering it, nevertheless, because both it and the post bring up the issue of progressive ministrations. This passage from Fox’s Journal lists progressive ministrations that have come through history’s prophets to meet people’s varying immediate needs for standards of righteousness, each standard answers the need for a particular state: some for milk, others for meat. The progress is from an outward standard to an inward standard, from the law to the gospel. The gospel state is the kingdom of God.

            Reading through this passage you can trace how the standard progresses from outward sacrifice (“the clean beasts, which were figures and types, were offered up”) to inward obedience to the dictates of the conscience (“to bring forth fruits meet for repentance”). Prophets realizing the necessity to meet people where they are, still urge them forward to a more inward standard of righteousness, such as Samuel did when stating clearly: To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams (1 Sam. 15:22).

            The danger is that a person will land and situate himself in a particular standard – such as the principle of “sacrifice” – and treat it as a permanent abode rather than a campsite from which he must move on. The Pharisees are the prime example of this, clinging to the Law when a greater one than Moses had appeared. The prophets urge the people of God onward, to greater, perfect righteousness, found only in Christ, the living law, our King. These various ministrations aren’t to be played-off one against another, but to be seen as a necessary progression to provoke us out of our comfort zones and into unity with the Lord our Righteousness.

            If Micah assesses his present inward state as needing the dead principle of “sacrifice,” then he must act accordingly, as, ironically, his conscience dictates. The Lord empowers us to seek him. There is suffering in the search, but the way has been prepared for us and wo unto us if we refuse whatever power to pursue that is given to us:

            In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. and if I go and prepare a place for you ,I will come again, and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know (Jn. 14: 2-4).

      • The only role of dead principles is to obfuscate the truth. Fox dealt with this very issue: “Therefore stand in the faith of the Lord Jesus Christ . . . and mind him; for he will discover the root of lusts, evil thoughts, and vain imaginations; and how they are begotten, conceived, and bred; and then how they are brought forth, and how every evil member doth work . . .
        So mind the faith of Christ, and the anointing which is in you, to be taught by it, which will discover all working in you. As he teacheth you, so obey . . . else you will not grow in the faith nor in the life of Christ . . .

      • Patricia Dallmann

        Here’s Penington on distinguishing the light and power of life within from the darkness and deceit within:

        And when we were solicitous how to know it [the light and power of life within] from the darkness and deceit within, this answer was given us from the Lord; Its nature will discover itself; it will find out and reprove whatever is reprovable, and furnish the soul with strength against it (Works, IV, 160).

  • Caryn

    I’m in a different place, but similar in the sense that I see my faith changing in my 30’s (I’m 37 and currently turning over all my faith rocks and inspecting them more closely, throwing some things away, and finding other things more precious than ever). I think going deeper into faith can often feel like one is losing ground or walking through thick fog. It’s uncomfortable, I think, because I am moving beyond some of the old teachers, old practices, and old motivations.

  • Robin Vestal

    I think of St. Francis’s distrust of theology and the constant thinking about God rather than living in the presence of God. Sigh…I just finished commenting on another site that I feel myself to be a Catholic Friend. I can’t give up the Mass, the corporate worship that carries me even when I can’t pray, the body of Christ. Yet faith has really been tested. Why are “Christians” so often the mean people? Why does pathology in friends and family often worsen with “conversion”? It doesn’t always adn I hang onto lights of friends lives and my own experiences of God’s love that is so transcendent and I go to Mass, I pray….but when I’m too busy it’s REALLY hard to hear and feel God’s presence.

  • Patricia Dallmann

    For when they read, that death reigned from Adam to Moses; that the law and
    the prophets were until John; and that the least in the kingdom is
    greater than John; they read these things without them, and applied
    them to others, (and the things were true of others,) but they did not
    turn in to find the truth of these things in themselves. As these things
    were opened in me, I saw death reigned over them from Adam to
    Moses; from the entrance into transgression, till they came to the ministration
    of condemnation, which restrains people from sin that brings
    death. When the ministration of Moses is passed through, the ministry
    of the prophets comes to be read and understood, which reaches
    through the figures, types, and shadows unto John, the greatest prophet
    born of a woman; whose ministration prepares the way of the
    Lord, by bringing down the exalted mountains, and making straight
    paths. As this ministration is passed through, an entrance comes to be
    known into the everlasting kingdom. I saw plainly, that none could
    read Moses aright without Moses’s spirit, by which he saw how man
    was in the image of God in paradise, how he fell, how death came
    over him, and how all men have been under this death. I saw how
    Moses received the pure law, that went over all transgressors; and
    how the clean beasts, which were figures and types, were offered up,
    when the people were come into the righteous law that went over the
    first transgression. Moses and the prophets saw through the types and
    figures, and beyond them, and saw Christ the great prophet, that was
    to come to fulfil them. I saw that none could read John’s words aright,
    and with a true understanding of them, but in and with the same divine
    spirit by which John spake them; and by his burning, shining light
    which is sent from God. For by that spirit their crooked natures might
    be made straight, their rough natures smooth, and the exacter and
    violent doer in them might be cast out; and those that had been hypocrites,
    might come to bring forth fruits meet for repentance, and their
    mountain of sin and earthliness might be laid low, and their valley
    exalted in them, that there might be a way prepared for the Lord in
    them: and then the least in the kingdom is greater than John. But all
    must first know the voice crying in the wilderness in their hearts, which
    through transgression were become as a wilderness (Works, I, 87-8).

    Joe, Your comment was sent to my email but has not yet appeared on this post, but I am, nevertheless, answering it, because both it and this post bring up the issue of progressive ministrations. This passage from Fox’s Journal (quoted above) lists progressive ministrations that have been given through history’s prophets with the intent to meet people’s varying, immediate needs for standards of righteousness, each standard answering the need for a particular state: some for milk, others for meat. The progress is from an outward standard to an inward standard, from the law to the gospel. The gospel state is the kingdom of God.

    Reading through this passage you can trace how the standard progresses from outward sacrifice (“the clean beasts, which were figures and types, were offered up”) to inward obedience to the dictates of the conscience (“to bring forth fruits meet for repentance”). Prophets realizing the necessity to meet people where they are, still urge them forward to a more inward standard of righteousness, such as Samuel did when stating clearly: “To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams” (1 Sam. 15:22).

    The danger is that a person will land and situate himself in a particular standard – such as the principle of “sacrifice” – and treat it as a permanent abode rather than a campsite from which he must move on. The Pharisees are the prime example of this, clinging to the Law when a greater one than Moses had appeared. The prophets urge the people of God onward, to greater, perfect righteousness, found only in Christ, the living law, our King. These various ministrations aren’t to be played-off one against another, but to be seen as a necessary progression to provoke us out of our comfort zones and into unity with the Lord our Righteousness.

    If Micah assesses his present inward state as needing the dead principle of “sacrifice,” then he must act accordingly, as, ironically, his conscience dictates. The Lord empowers us to seek him. There is suffering in the search, but the way has been prepared for us and wo unto us if we refuse whatever power to pursue that is given to us:

    In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know (Jn. 14: 2-4).

  • James Smith

    Have you prayed to be filled with the Holy Spirit? Not just at conversion, but recently? Been reading about it in the New Testament and it sounds like you just need a quick refill. With prayers, James.

  • Patricia Dallmann

    In answer to Joe’s unpublished comment that appeared via my email account:

    For when they read, that death reigned from Adam to Moses; that the law and
    the prophets were until John; and that the least in the kingdom is
    greater than John; they read these things without them, and applied
    them to others, (and the things were true of others,) but they did not
    turn in to find the truth of these things in themselves. As these things
    were opened in me, I saw death reigned over them from Adam to
    Moses; from the entrance into transgression, till they came to the ministration
    of condemnation, which restrains people from sin that brings
    death. When the ministration of Moses is passed through, the ministry
    of the prophets comes to be read and understood, which reaches
    through the figures, types, and shadows unto John, the greatest prophet
    born of a woman; whose ministration prepares the way of the
    Lord, by bringing down the exalted mountains, and making straight
    paths. As this ministration is passed through, an entrance comes to be
    known into the everlasting kingdom. I saw plainly, that none could
    read Moses aright without Moses’s spirit, by which he saw how man
    was in the image of God in paradise, how he fell, how death came
    over him, and how all men have been under this death. I saw how
    Moses received the pure law, that went over all transgressors; and
    how the clean beasts, which were figures and types, were offered up,
    when the people were come into the righteous law that went over the
    first transgression. Moses and the prophets saw through the types and
    figures, and beyond them, and saw Christ the great prophet, that was
    to come to fulfil them. I saw that none could read John’s words aright,
    and with a true understanding of them, but in and with the same divine
    spirit by which John spake them; and by his burning, shining light
    which is sent from God. For by that spirit their crooked natures might
    be made straight, their rough natures smooth, and the exacter and
    violent doer in them might be cast out; and those that had been hypocrites,
    might come to bring forth fruits meet for repentance, and their
    mountain of sin and earthliness might be laid low, and their valley
    exalted in them, that there might be a way prepared for the Lord in
    them: and then the least in the kingdom is greater than John. But all
    must first know the voice crying in the wilderness in their hearts, which
    through transgression were become as a wilderness (Works, I, 87-8).

    Joe, As your comment was sent to my email but has not yet appeared on this post, I am answering it, nevertheless, because both it and the post bring up the issue of progressive ministrations. This passage from Fox’s Journal lists progressive ministrations that have come through history’s prophets to meet people’s varying immediate needs for standards of righteousness, each standard answers the need for a particular state: some for milk, others for meat. The progress is from an outward standard to an inward standard, from the law to the gospel. The gospel state is the kingdom of God.

    Reading through this passage you can trace how the standard progresses from outward sacrifice (“the clean beasts, which were figures and types, were offered up”) to inward obedience to the dictates of the conscience (“to bring forth fruits meet for repentance”). Prophets realizing the necessity to meet people where they are, still urge them forward to a more inward standard of righteousness, such as Samuel did when stating clearly: To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams (1 Sam. 15:22).

    The danger is that a person will land and situate himself in a particular standard – such as the principle of “sacrifice” – and treat it as a permanent abode rather than a campsite from which he must move on. The Pharisees are the prime example of this, clinging to the Law when a greater one than Moses had appeared. The prophets urge the people of God onward, to greater, perfect righteousness, found only in Christ, the living law, our King. These various ministrations aren’t to be played-off one against another, but to be seen as a necessary progression to provoke us out of our comfort zones and into unity with the Lord our Righteousness.

    If Micah assesses his present inward state as needing the dead principle of “sacrifice,” then he must act accordingly, as, ironically, his conscience dictates. The Lord empowers us to seek him. There is suffering in the search, but the way has been prepared for us and wo unto us if we refuse whatever power to pursue that is given to us:

    In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. and if I go and prepare a place for you ,I will come again, and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know (Jn. 14: 2-4).

  • Dee

    Thanks for sharing your heart, Micah. You’re describing what I feel every believer needs to go through. Some will remain where they are, finding solace and self-help with religion; others will become restless and seek to grow deeper with Jesus. And He is so vast and deep we will never discover all of Him! That’s one of the great joys of the journey! The church (generically speaking) has changed/is changing. It seems willing to compromise on many things in order to be popular, and “feeling good about yourself” is a popular topic. Spirituality has become focused on what is “good for us”—comfort, strength, ointment for our wounds—versus allowing God to get what He wants from us, and coincidentally that turns out to be good for us! To draw a little analogy, I think churches try to fill our cracked cisterns with water drawn by their own leaky buckets from the Source of Life, rather than leading us to the River Himself. Me? I want to learn to stand in the River and be so transformed I can one day breathe underwater!

  • Keith Saylor

    # Micah
    I am the answer. I am the way. I am with you as you write and ruminate. Speak my Name before rationalizing and intellectualizing. Rest in my Name and own who I am. Say me, speak me, and I am there in your conscience and conscious. I am ever Present within you. I am immanent. Just speak my Name … I am … right now … just speak it as you read it. Say … I am … rest in and own who I am. It is in the speaking and calling that I am manifest Light. Lay down rationalizations and simply speak that who I am and I will be upon your conscience and enlighten your conscious and become your living rule and guide. It is in the speaking of my Name … I am … that I am in you and you are in me and I am manifest in all thing and actions. Embrace that which I am by simply calling upon me and I will come upon you and you will come upon me. I speak the Name to you (which we share together) and call upon it in you (in fellowship) that it may be discovered unto to you in increased measure, power and Presence. I own that Name (christened in it) within you as you own it within me. Here is living and ever present religion and fellowship gathered in the Name itself in itself upon our conscience and conscious.