This year, I did a complete career change. I went from working in nonprofit communications to my first job as a software developer. It’s been one of the most challenging – and rewarding – experiences of my life. Learning how to code has taught me life lessons I never suspected when I got started. And taking a leap of faith into a whole new career has put the rest of my life in perspective.
I’ve been learning patience on so many levels. With my own weakness and limitations. With the way that life so often feels like a traffic jam. I’m learning that progress is better than perfection. Small steps are better than giant leaps. Frustration can be a gateway to enlightenment. And what seems like failure often turns out to be a necessary step towards success.
This past year has changed the way I think about time. By default, I tend to relate to time as a resource. I talk about “spending” time in order to produce a certain result – whether money, a project, or even spiritual development. I’ve always thought of my time as a means to an end.
This is actually the default mode for software development, too. We consider what goals we can accomplish and products we can produce given a certain amount of time. Then, we look for ways to remove obstacles and increase our productivity. It’s a very practical, useful way of looking at time. It can also be relentless, mechanical, and exhausting.
In the midst of this culture of workplace productivity, I’m discovering a different way to look at time. The surprising fact is: I’m full of joy. I adore my work. I love my life. I’m so grateful for my family, friends, and all the opportunities that God has placed in my path. Every day is a gift. Despite all the demands I put on myself to produce results for the future, the bounty of the present moment is breathtaking.
I hope that my work has a positive long-term impact. But the real blessing is to find purpose and joy in the labor itself. When I struggle with a frustrating problem in code, that’s an opportunity to be present and alive. When I’m home playing with my son, that’s an invitation to be I awake to who he is, and who we are together. Every passing moment is an opportunity to experience wonder.
I don’t have to wait for a better future. I don’t have to become more productive, wealthier, or better looking. I don’t have to wait for an afterlife to experience real peace and presence. Each breath is an invitation to thanksgiving.
This is it. The moment we’ve all been waiting for.
Living in this state of awareness opens up a space where all my normal activities can take on a deeper meaning. I can still deliver value to my employer. I can be a caring father, loving husband, and loyal friend. I can do all of these things, not out of any anxiety about the future, but because I choose to. I act because I love my life and the people in it. Because it brings me joy.
This is what freedom is. This is what the kingdom of heaven looks like. Irrepressible joy and fearless wonder become the fountainhead of all action. I’m invited to step away from the anxious imagination that has always driven me. All that’s left is love and gratitude.